Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Hi, My Name is Anna, and I'm Painfully Awkward, Part 1

Most of the time I'm loud, friendly, engaging, all the "typical" signs of an extrovert.

An illustration of this - whenever I take personality quizzes, for example "What My Little Pony Are You?" I always get answers like so:


Thus, it's often shocking to people when they find out that I am introverted. If I do not have significant amount of time in my nest, I turn in to a monster. When I speak in front of people, I get so much adrenaline I cry and my voice shakes. Going places where I do not know anyone zaps all my energy. Meeting famous people, important people, and/or powerful or pretty people turns me in to a babbling idiot and/or crazy person. 

This last point was illustrated in my life a few weeks ago. One of our most important clients was visiting at work, during the negotiations to renew the account. It was stressful for all involved. I was not part of the meeting, but I was very aware of what was on the line. I spent all morning bouncing on my ball (sitting on my ball is often a bad idea, I'm just waiting for them to take it away). 

As I'm bouncing on the ball the client appears over the top of the cubicle, like a jack in the box, to ask directions.

My adrenaline immediately skyrocketed, my bouncing increased, and I start babbling away about various directions, pros, cons, and drawing elaborate air maps with my hand. After this onslaught of information, the client politely said thanks, with the mild look of alarm I often illicit in people in his eyes, and I said "you're welcome," and then I did the one-two finger guns.  

Finger guns.

FINGER GUNS. 

This catastrophe reminded me of previous times I acted a fool.

My freshman year of college was soon after the '04 summer Olympics. If you remember those games, you know who Jeremy Wariner is. He was an amazing runner, broke all kinds of records, always wore his sunglasses and giant diamond earrings, and supposedly had an ego the size of Texas.

I was in love.

18 year-old me is swooning, 28 year-old me is rolling my eyes

As fate would have it, my freshman year at Baylor was his senior year there. I just knew we were going to meet, fall in love, and have very athletic babies. 

My first week of class I was running late and was hopelessly lost. There was no one around, except one person walking towards me on the path, one very famous person. One very famous person in sunglasses and diamond earrings,..

TO BE CONTINUED


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