Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Disney Saves Me From Homicide

There are days that are so good and my mood is so high that I feel like if I burst into song and dance everyone around me will join in, because things are just THAT good.

There are other days, like today, where I am in the middle of horrifying cleanse because I've recently found out my list off food allergies is longer than things that irritate me about Justin Bieber and I feel like shaking my fist at everything.

Regardless of the type of day, I have a pet peeve that makes me twitch and fume. Today, because of the a fore mentioned, sad soup cleanse, it is grating worse than usual.

Whether in class or a staff meeting or any other professional/educational/meeting setting, I HATE when people talk just to hear their own voice.

I am hear to learn. From the professor. Who knows way more than you. Your fifth comment of the day is just derailing us. AGAIN.

I am hear to get through this. To please my pompous boss. Who thinks he knows more than us. Your fifth comment of the day is just derailing us. AGAIN.

So, to keep myself from flinging myself at someone in a desperate bid to end their yapping, ala Mean Girls the mall/watering hole scene, I decided to start classifying these mouth flappers by Disney sidekicks.*

*I use a variety of sidekicks, all of whom I think are wonderful. The use of them in this classification system is not a reflection on their positive qualities.

The hops is that this changes my thoughts from, "SHUT UP. NO ONE IS IMPRESSED WITH YOU. YOU ARE NO CONTRIBUTING ANYTHING. RARRRRRRRRRR!!!!" to "oh you silly, squawking  Scuttle, you sure are loud."

The Condescending Cogsworth: 

We all know this one. They feel the need to share their opinion because it is so much better than anything else anyone has said or will ever said. Tell tale signs are the false questioning tone "I'm wondering if anyone has ever..." and the expectant, thoughtful pause at the end. While there is nothing inherently obvious about the Cogsworth, you will know if you are dealing with one because you will feel the instant need to defend against whatever they are saying.

The Gregarious Genie:

This to me is the most tolerable over-sharer, because the main goal is to get a laugh and they are often successful. Evident by their boisterous laugh and well planned punch lines, they can be entertaining but the impact of a distracted class is the same as the other sidekicks.*

*I'm totally guilty of being the Gregarious Genie. I am working on it! 

The Oblivious Olaf:

You know you are dealing with an Oblivious Olaf when their comments illicit a resounding, uncomfortable silence in the room. Can I get a big group, "huh?" Bonus: if they think their comment is witty and laugh at themselves with no one else joining in, yet they are not bothered at all. You have to admire how comfortable they are in their own skin.  

The Irate Iago:

I sometimes feel bad for the Irate Iago. They are often commenting from a genuine place of anger or disagreement, but the way it is handled often leaves crickets chirping. I don't think we should blindly agree with everything people in authority say to us, but I'm all for appropriate tone and timing. The Iago just loses it and squawks all over.  

The Zealous Zazu:

What's the right answer in Sunday school, always? Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I do think Jesus is the answer to everything, BUT this sidekick uses this like a weapon to get out of hard thoughts. These comments seem to come from a place of discomfort with the subject matter and are intentionally used to derail a conversation. I have only run into this one at Seminary, so far, but there many topics people are zealous about, to the determinant of hearing others.   

What Sidekicks do you have in your life? What creative ways do you handle stress?


Anonymous said...

I love the thought of finding sidekicks. For what it's worth, I have found that the Don't-Remember-It Dory helped me through my soup cleanse. The more I let my short-term memory loss kick in during the soup cleanse, the better. I could eat soup for one more day if I didn't think that all I'd eaten for seven days was soup. I could eat carrot meatball soup another day if I added more salt and told myself it was different than the last time I ate it. YOU CAN DO THIS! Let me know if you need me to form a sassy alter-ego sidekick to help get you through your first few weeks. :) -Vana

PorkStar said...

haha, I actually had a professor in school who was like Olaf... he'd be the only one laughing at his own jokes and making all sorts of weird comments.

My most creative way to relief stress, around people is usually cussing them all out.

Anna Kristine said...

You are so sweet!!! It has been very helpful taking the Dory approach to this soup cleanse!

Anna Kristine said...

Bonus points for having a professor who falls into one of these categories (all though, it would make me lose my ever loving mind)!

Oh the creativity you can have with the English language, all though I'm too much of a weeny so my most colorful work stays unsaid!